Circumspecte

Cherished Reader, Yes! This is a letter from me to you! I figured I hadn't written a letter in a while and instead of doing a Circum-Flash or a Circum-Alert , I'd just go with a personal tete-a-tete with you! Especially since I have some really exciting news that I'd like to share :) I believe the hardest promises we make are the ones we make to ourselves. Precisely because you have to live with that voice in your head that's counting down the minutes until you fulfill your promise and that bashes you like crazy when you don't deliver. So, I promised myself sometime back that I would get to work on writing my very first book for publication - ideally before I hit the silver jubilee. And now, time's a-ticking and my conscience is guilt-tripping me into overdrive, so I had to get to work on delivering. I started writing this morning and I am super SUPER excited! A little background: I have actually written a couple of books. No, not in my mind. In reality. Th...

Dear Diary, I t’s kind of hard being second to last amongst nine siblings, you know? By the time you have learnt to ride a bike, seven othe rs would have already done it. Y our ‘great achievement’ would only bring back f ond memories of the time Juma rode hers, or the zillion times Hisham fell off his, before finally getting it right. Humph! Hel-lo! News flash: this is MY big moment! Funny. I cannot even enjoy my place down the line in peace. I cannot suck on my thumb, o r slurp my ice cream, because Karima might be watching, and “big sister is supposed to be a better example”. Big sister? The older child? “Mummy, can I stay up and watch the 10:30 movie?” “No, Lilly. It’s rated PG13. You are only 12 and a half”. Humph! So what am I? Old or young? Pretty confusing. Even the coolest names got snagged before my time. For the first three kids, Mummy was in her prim and proper, formal m ode: Juma, Hisham, Awuresi . Lovely. For the next four, she went all hip-hop, African-A...

Dear Diary, I’ m positive my voice has gone hoarse from all the screaming I’ve been doing today. No, Arif and the guys didn’t come down here for another screaming match though I’d rather that was the case. The thing is that mum and dad went out…sans those little devils. Okay they’re my kid brothers and sister but still! “Don’t touch that”, “get down from there”, “are we there yet?”. Sound familiar? It should, cos that’s what you hear around every child. Indeed , children are a torment and nothin g more. I mean, there are some sweet children but the majority, damn! No wonder parents get gr ey hairs so quickly. Anytime I hear a kid cry, I gotta find an exit fast coz if I don’t, I’ll go deaf. Yeah we were all children but surely we couldn’t have been that annoying! I k now y’all feel me on this one. Whenever a naughty kid starts acting nice I need to ask him/her what’s up b ecause that just doesn’t happen. If he ain ’ t broken something then he wants something. It’s not always th...

Dear Diary, Responsibilities, responsibilities. God! Sometimes I just hate to hear the word. I mean come on, what’s up with the “you’re the eldest child in the family so you have to set a good example for the others to follow. You have to be more responsible.” Honestly, I’m tired of all that. Because of all my “responsibilities”, I can’t even think straight or act like me. I mean, heeello! What happened to being myself? Sure, it’s cool being the eldest daughter…once in a while. But come on, between having to explain to Mummy why Titilayo cannot borrow my clothes even though she’s my sister, trying to stop the oh-so-numerous quarrels that Zisung and Napari engage in, AND trying to ensure that we all do our house chores, there’s hardly any time left for just being me! Its like I’m living in a constant state of being somebody else. Anyways, I have to scram now… supposed to take Zisung and Napari to a birthday party. (talk about boredom). Toodles! OBSERVATION No matter one’s position in...

Dear Diary, It’s the night of the big game and me and my boys are in front of the TV waiting patiently for the kick-off. We are evenly divided, four of us supporting Arsenal and the other four supporting Man United. The tension in the room is so apparent as the match commences. With sporadic shouts of “what dey wrong this player” and the usual “Oh!” So many minutes have passed but no goal and frustrations are beginning to show. I’m not talking about frustrations on the pitch mind you, but in our mini stadium. “I don’t even know why we bought this player, he’s useless”, Ekow declares. Five minutes later, the useless player scores th e opener for Man United. Kojo’s reaction? No comment. My team is down by a goal and Murtala takes the opportunity to taunt me. “So Mash, who be your chick?” I mean, can you believe him? Well I’m not the least amused by that question, not when my team is down. I’m about to give him a piece of my mind but just then Arsenal equalize. My fellow gunnas go beserk...

Dear Diary, Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I lied. There’s nothing worse than lying to yourself, especially if you spent half a year’s savings on celebrating the lie. Then again, it wasn’t exactly a lie… it was more like me conceding defeat, kind of like saying okay, so I cannot have this, so fine, I’ll try to live with it. Okay, so Diary, after how many days of convincing mysel f that I’m totally over Kuuku , one, just one (long, sweet, dreamy… sigh) conversation made me think otherwise: So here I am, all ready to go to Samira’s when Adjeley texts that she’s coming over, and I better be at home or else… (What can I say; a best friend has certain privileges). She gets here and say s she’s been talking to Kuuku online and he’s going to stay on for a long while, and he said to tell me that. Meaning he wants me to come on, right? So in a fla sh, me, Samira, Adjeley and Mansa , who just happens to stop by at that moment, fly to the café. My guy was really online! Did...

Dear Diary, I’m totally convinced that some “friends” just make it their official duty of letting one down. One thing I can ’ t stand is being disappointed and that's exactly how I feel right n ow. I mean, how the hell can Olesugun back down on the deal we planned ages ago? I really don't think I’ll get over this one anytime soon. Mayb e I need to review my friend's list and right now, one na me stands the opportunity of being deleted and trash- canned . I know he's avoiding me, but I 'll get him soon, and believe me , there will be fireworks, and I’m not talking about the 6th of March. ADVICE “I’ll be here for you no matter what.”, “I got your back”, “We’ll stick it through the hard times as one.” All these remarks build up a sense of trust and loyalty for our friends. However, these words are quite unrealistic in their own way. For one thing, our friends cannot ALWAYS be there for us. Sometimes, circumstances get out of hand and thus prevent them from do...

Dear Diary, I am so angry right now! Riad has really overstepped his bounds this time! I’m fed up! I mean, how much can one expect of a girl? I’m just me. You dun like that, well that’s your problem! Right? Come to think of it, I don’t know what his problem is….Its not like I went and cheated on him or anything. Gosh. He’s so full of it. C’mon, there are about a trillion guys I know who would kill to get the kinda attention I give Riad. I call him at least every two days, send him texts just to let him know I care or I’m thinking of him AND I help him with his school work sometimes. It’s not like I don’t have other things doing, but just so I fit into the description of girlfriend….maybe that’s it….we need to redefine what girlfriend means. Darn! You should see me right now; I’m so fuming mad, I’m actually shaking. I really wonder what’s gotten into him for him to even consider having sex with me! Hell, that’s so insulting! And, as if that’s not enough, he had the nerve to tell me t...

Dear Diary, Me and a couple of my pals were talking the other day…what about? What else! Its all aba em girls. Kwesi and the others had different views on the issue, not all of them very realistic, but opinions nevertheless. I believe women are more or less an enigma but probably misunderstood most of the time. Let me explain. Personally, I’ve never been in a relationship with a girl so I’m speaking from what I have seen and heard. The one thing which keeps recurring in relationships is the time factor. I’m sure they’ll (women) disagree with me here but I’m afraid I can trace it to even (shhhhhh, don’t tell her), my mom. You know when the family wants to go somewhere and with like five minutes to the time, she hasn’t figured out what she’s going to wear, what perfume she’s going to use, high heels or not, the list is endless basically. There are other factors like jealousy, money, which I’m not going to delve into because, I’ll not finish. It’s like Hannah Cowley said, “What is wo...

Dear Diary, Trying to be something you are not is so not cool. But there’s nothing wrong with enhancing who you are…becoming the “It Girl”…becoming a diva… I learnt that the hard way. The latter part of last year was so all- that and more for me. I went from quiet, shy Aphie to what was hot, new and happening; all in one breath, and it felt good! Everyone loved the change. But that was sop not me. There was more to me than I was letting out. Well, this year, Phase Three of “Growing Up” kicked in. The new Aphie. The true me. I’ve started paying attention to the things I missed before. It’s ok to hang out at night, only not too often else I might get mistaken for a call girl. Make-up is to enhance, not to mask my face. It’s best not to leave much to the imagination when I get dressed-not too many layers else I’ll hide my great figure; not too few either else… I’ve worked on character too-down with the shyness, don with the loudness and aggressiveness. All in all, I love who I am rig...

Dear Diary, I know I haven’t been consistent in keeping you updated on the happenings in my life, and I’m not going to make excuses for my behavior. However, there’s a good reason; a really good reason: Naa. Over the past two months, Naa n I have gotten real close. You know how I thought that she detested me? Well, apparently I was way off! She actually loves me! I don’t know how to explain how I feel right now but the feeling’s most definitely great. It does have its downside though; like when she’s really busy with all those activities she’s involved in and I don’t get to spend time with her. It hurts. Literally. Okay, so what’s it about Naa that’s got me totally smitten? That’s an easy question. First of all, she’s a really cool person. She’s great to talk to, smart, cute and she doesn’t mind playing ball with me sometimes. Only, I tend to let her have the easy shots. All I really wanna do now is just make her happy. Oh well, what can I say? I’m in deep. I hope you understand me u...

Dear Diary, I’ve been laughing so hard the sides of my stomach are beginning to ache. I really shouldn’t laugh so much though, cos for a certain person, the issue that’s making me laugh is real serious. (Totally grim faced, with no smiles.) O.k. o.k. I’ll fill you in on the “joke”. Konadu actually thinks that I have the hots for the guy she likes! I’m thinking aliens have invaded Ghana or something cos that notion of hers is way off base! What’s more is she isn’t relating to me like she used to…no more teasing and stuff. Oh well. Aight, I’ll cut the indifference act. That DID get to me. It might not be that obvious, but I really value my friendship with Konadu. She’s like the twin I never had. (You and I both know that “twins” doesn’t even begin to describe our connection.) That’s why I would most definitely NOT let ANY guy come between us (Unless of course, that guy is…lol. I’m just kidding, ok?) I must say that it’s a good thing that I realized what was going on with her before...

Dear Diary, I’m sitting here and finally packing all those school stuff away. I should be overjoyed….generally, yes. I haven’t lost my head yet…..but I’m just thinking. Thinking how much I assumed school to be another avenue by which my peeps could make my life miserable. School sucks! How many times haven’t I heard that? Well for the most part, I’m afraid it’s true. The teachers were sometimes (ok, a little more than sometimes) “yawa”. Always last to class but first to the DC.  Oh yeah, sure punish him if he does wrong but don’t notice if he’s making A’s .  It’s amazing how some of ‘em played security men so efficiently and yet, were so inept at teaching. If it weren’t for my possies and a couple of my teachers, it would have been hell. We had to survive on uneatable “gaso”, “bolus” and tampico. But Mama Tess sure could cook some mean rice at “goase”. Sports and entertainment was also tight, at least it made you forget the wahala for a lil while. But hey, if we made it through that, w...

Dear Diary, I daresay that this will be my shortest entry ever! I went to school, had a great day and came home. End of story. Okay, okay- as if its ever that easy with me- a whole bunch of stuff happened today. And I’m telling you, every single one of them were mere coincidences. I had nothing to do with them….at least not directly. Here’s what happened: I walked into History class today fashionably late. And I do mean fashion-ably late. Even Mr. Chizuyika who has absolutely no fashion sense can vouch for me on that one. I was looking oh-so drop-dead gorgeous that he actually dropped his chalk. He then proceeded to make such a fuss about my “habitual” tardiness to his class. Who can blame me? 8:30 am on Monday mornings is a little too much don’t you think? And besides, I’m sure the fuss he made was just a cover-up for him dropping his chalk at the sight of me. He does have a reputation to protect you know! (As if) Anyways, for some strange reason, my IQ was on a negative-something tod...

Dear Diary, I just had to escape from all the chaos going on around me. We’re preparing for our annual speech and prize-giving day and the already-high stress level just increased by 100%. This term has been like so packed, I haven’t really gotten the chance to study. I wouldn’t be so agitated if it weren’t for the fact that exams is right after the speech day. Darn, that’s barely a week away. Sometimes I just wish I could stop everything. Stop being the President of the Writers and Debaters club, stop being the captain of the school basketball team, and most of all, stop being a student. Physics is already killing me as it is and now with the speech day and its numerous activities, I’m barely living. Even a zombie has got to have more life in it than I do right now. But when I think about Mum and Dad, my favorite teacher Mr. Atiaga and all those people who are expecting something from me, I just can’t drop it all and leave like that. I just can’t. Anyways, as always, you’ve made me fe...