It's just one of those days...one of those weeks...one of those months...
Its like a constant swirl...a constant circle...a constant cycle...
Do we ever really actually eventually get to where we're going?
Or do we just walk the high mile and come back to the start
Just a little bit stronger...a little bit wiser...a little bit more sure of ourselves...
How many times does one have to tell oneself "I'm not going to do this again" and then a second later...a minute later...an hour later...on a good day, a year later..
You realize "Oh, I dun walked down this same old dusty road before"
And then...well, then you just gotta keep going I guess.
You walk that same road again, only this time around, maybe its not so dusty
And maybe, there is some life in it after all... I mean, this time around, there is a patch of grass growing right on the sideway
Or maybe, it all seems very logical that you tripped and fell and perhaps scarred your knee a bit here and there...I mean, how could you not have noticed that large rock smack in the middle of the road?
And then you get to the T- intersection or Y-intersection
"I am so TIRED of all of this!" "WHY does this always happen to me."
Maybe because it has to happen until you finally get it! Or until you finally quit your excuses, accept the lesson and get on with the rest of the course.
Maybe you're supposed to have nothing to worry about when you're a cute little baby- although some people will affectionately choose to call you a little devil-- so that your brain, and your muscles and everything else you need will get ready for the journey ahead
Maybe you're supposed to come walking in at five with complaints like "Mummy, so-so and so has a yellow t-shirt and I don't have one!" so that after you've had a good cry, or maybe a good smile, you'll realize that at the end of the day, its not the yellow, or black or whatever color t-shirt you threw a tantrum about that matters
Maybe you're supposed to think "Nobody in the world understands me! Everyone is against me!" at 14 or 15 to realize that you know what, there is/are someone/some people out there who are genuine and true
Maybe you're supposed to be dead broke half the time you're in college..and then a couple of years afterwards when you're paying back those loans, to learn the true worth of living and being a part of other people's lives
And then, after a couple more...lets see...zillion or so May Bees, regardless of the month or year or day, you'll come back to that point in your life where everything is not certain yet crystal clear, where the road stretches straight and undisturbed, and you have no inkling of the troubles ahead, where you might only have a bottle of water in your hand, but a world of love and determination in your heart
where you will look back on the last journey, the last day, the last exam, the last experience and not try to think to much, but just embrace it all
Where you will be able to proudly declare "I'm Through With All This Non-Sense!" and it will be fine...cos really...who wants to waste their whole life trying to make sense of something that cannot be made sense of? Definitely not me!